PMS, cont'd (or how to make hummus)
with the knife at my boyfriend's throat, and my mind in complete disarray i knew it was time for some salty food, or else. my first plan involved a thirty-minute trek to the local in and out burger joint (no I will not link you the secret menu) got nixed by mr. sanctimonious-i-will-not-risk-a-one-in-a-million-shot-of-a-mad-cow-burger-nor-will-I-suck-it-up-and-get-the-grilled-cheese. so after rattling his cage a little bit with one of my excellent german cleavers (arbeit macht frei, nein?) i decided to get down to business and satisfy my pre-bloating craving. i don't know why i am giving you ungrateful curs this, because it is the best, but here is the recipe for my renowned and PRESTIGIOUS hummus, famous throughout all the elite institutions i have wasted my time and my parents' money on.

Equipment:
Cuisinart Mini Prep Plus

ingredients:
one can ORGANIC garbanzo beans
juice of one half lemons
pinch of salt
three tablespoons olive brine (this is where most of the PRECIOUS salt comes from)
three tablespoons olive oil
two teaspoons dried mint
one teaspoon hungarian paprika (hot or sweet)
seven grinds of the peppermill (but I like it peppery)
one clove thinly sliced garlic
two heaping tablespoons of non-manishevitz tahini

dump all ingredients into cuisnart and GRIND until smooth. that's all - now i'm off to bloat
PS - perfect for getting boys to forgive your little spasms (when Mr. Sanctimonius tried this one, he forgave the little knife incident)