this just in: there is "hope for a truce" in the war between the sexes!
an ex-boyfriend just forwarded me this quaint, homestyle advice for a return to sexual sanity. it made me feel so fuzzy i just had to slip on some cuddly lingerie and sit down to do my nails with a nice glass of estrogen. shrews of marriageable age should hearken to granny lest they end up ringless and without a provider. males are well-advised to keep their wives' closets well-stocked with booty-enhancing skivs, lest the shrews become untameable. Furthermore, keep them pregnant for without the ability to "bring forth and suckle children," their bodies, susceptible to "several kinds of systemic failure," will "shrivel and die. had i realized sooner that men's bodies were things "of little beauty, but much power" maybe i would be changing diapers by now, safe from systemic failure and protected by my very own "high-performance machine." goodness, what a pity!